Black and White
by Erandri
Summary: Neal dreamed in black and white, and he had a few theories as to why.


**I was reading a fanfic that mentioned that Neal dreamed in black and white and this came to me. I have no idea where from but I started typing and this came out. Anyway, I hope that you like it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I just realised that I havent been putting disclaimers in my stories lately so; I dont own White Collar or anything even related to it.**

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Neal Caffrey dreamed in black and white. It was a fact that few knew about him, but a fact none the less. He tried, but never once had he ever seen color with his eyes closed. He had various explanations for this, each one sadder than the last.

His favorite was that it was a metaphor, a subconscious effort by his mind to tell him some vital truth. A truth that, perhaps, was telling him not to take life for granted. That dreams were good, but nothing was like the reality called life. Neal liked to think that it was telling him to savor each moment; each kiss with Kate, each chat with Elizabeth and each joke on Peter. It was telling him not to forget, that though there were always times like his dreams, filled with nothing but muted greys and dialogues only for him, that there was always a bright side to life. Someone would always be there for him to fill his life with life; to color in the shapes and give them personality. That was why Neal liked this reason, it told him that he would never be alone.

Neal's next reason was a little sadder, it offered a promise of fraud. It said that he was two sides of the coin; the friend and the enemy. The friend who would gladly do anything to help you, that was the white he saw in his dreams. The enemy who could con you into signing away you soul, that was the black he dreamed of. Each side of him fighting for control with neither winning but, instead mixing together. They made a different kind of man out of him, a more dangerous man. Neal could play the angel and learn your most valued secrets as he held you while you cried, and he could play the devil who told you promises of gold and silver but instead delivered lead and pyrite. When he thought of it like this, Neal didn't like to dream; this promised him a life of lies.

Neal's next reason was sadder still, it told of a life of truth. The black and white he saw were the real reality and his life was the lie. In color you became distracted, your mind wavering to the bright colors of hope and love and friendship. The color distracted you from the truth, that everything hurt you in the end. Black and white had nothing to hide and instead it showed the world for what it was; selfish. It was a world where no one cared for you, it was a cruel world. He had seen this cruel world before, but he had chosen to cover it with memories of happiness. He remembered the day that Kate told him it was over, but he chose to remember the days when she would tenderly hold his hand as they sat in their shabby apartment eating takeout and drinking fake Montrachet. He could easily recall the day that Peter arrested him; he chose to remember the day that he evaded him. He remembered the swell of pride as he saw Peter's angered face out of his rearview mirror as he just narrowly missed winning a pair of handcuffs. He also remembered Copenhagan. That was the memory that he wanted to forget the most. He wanted to cover up the images of Alex's look of hurt with bright yellows and oranges, but sometimes no matter how much you painted over it, the black still showed through. That was why Neal hated this reason; it gave him reality.

In the end Neal didn't like any of these reasons. They all promised half- truths and assumptions, they conned him into thinking things that he didn't want to. They told him he would never be alone when in reality that was impossible, people would always leave you. They told him of lies, when there were always people to give you the truth that you so desperately needed. They told him of reality when everyone dreamed of something greater. So Neal kept thinking about why he dreamed in black and white; and maybe one day he would find his answer and finally be able to dream in color.

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**Well, I hope that you enjoyed it!**


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